I dunno what is wrong with me yesterday.. said some stupid things that should not have said .. hurt someone close to me.. never in my life i wrote something that emotional to let people see.. usually i keep it from everyone.. well time to make some changes.. in time the people around me will tell me if this change is for the better or for the worst..
There I was, came back home restless and tired from school yesterday afternoon , took a quick bath and fell on my bed like a tree being chop down which slams onto the dirt . I opened my eyes and thought of the things i had said and had done that fateful day which might change the flow of things in the coming days or even weeks..
I held my mobile phone tightly and awaited for the twist of fate that was going to determine our relationship ....
As I begun to close my eyes images of you flashed through my mind like the quick reflex of a shutter, the pulses of light . The feelings that i have for you is kept in my heart not allowing anyone to know not even you .. but that feeling grows with each passing moment , I do not know how long I can contain it. Why did i contain it ? That I do not know myself... There are lots of questions in my mind that wanted answers but I found no sources to them.
A familiar set of vibrations brought me back from the wondering land filled with doubt. I held up the device and looked at what u had written... After looking at your words , I felt like a lost club that had drifted away from the herd . No, a musician that had lost his composure in the middle of a grand performance . No ... I felt like I am in a vacuum , a place devoid of all matter . Everything around me went silent . In the end .. watashi wa anata wo tada tomodaji ...
That evening , I felt like a sack of potatoes , weak and vulnerable . My throat devoid of moisture , head splitting apart . Is this really what you wanted ? Is there no such thing as give and take in the world ? Is trusting me that difficult ? Is listening and understanding the wisdoms in life that I bestow upon you that hard to accept ?
I went to see a doctor that evening as i was beginning to feel worse . Well it turned out that I had a fever. So I went back to my slumber after taking the medication given by the doctor.
The next morning, which is today , seemed no different from any other day only that my fever still persisted . I intended to rest for the day .
I hope you all enjoy your outing today ... especially you .
